You will look back on this time in your life and realize that the storms you struggled through really did bring you to the other side. Every obstacle in your path is a moment to strengthen your character. Every irritation presents the opportunity to extend mercy. Every disappointment needs to be carefully handled with grace. You are not the sum of all the things that have "gone wrong" in your life. So don't be afraid to live.
Stop allowing yourself to build walls; they don't serve a purpose other than to alienate you from all the good that exists.
Take special care of those relationships that bring discord. Don't let yourself become a doormat, but don't be so quick to write someone off just because the situation isn't to your liking.
Stop talking to yourself in the mirror unless you are going to use those words to build something beautiful. The words that other people say are painful; the words you say to yourself leave permanent scars.
Make sure in the living, you take time to count the blessings that have been brought to you in the form of relationships -- with family and friends, with friends who became family, with people you had the good privilege to meet on a certain day of your journey. These are the things that define you.
Don't expect an apology to live up to your expectation. "I'm sorry.” has to be good enough. Don't settle for "I'm sorry, but...” that isn't an apology, it's an excuse. Feel free to rip off the band-aid and end relationships that no longer suit you. Don't be careless in that endeavor, but don't keep someone close just because you are afraid.
Your job is just that, a job. It allows you the resources to live. It allows you to make a difference in your corner of the world. There are only so many hours in the day, and so many workdays in a year. You are entitled to enjoy your vacation and not feel guilty.
Take better care of yourself. Drink more water. Eat your vegetables. Go for a run. Read for enjoyment. Spend as much time with you, as you do with your electronics. Be still. Don't be afraid of the silence. Sleep.
Get more involved in something. Take a photography class. Write more, it's cleansing. Sing more. Create something with your hands. Pray, but keep in mind the answer you want may not be the answer you need.
You are really great at loving people, sometimes to your own detriment. Don't be so focused on loving someone else that you forget to love yourself even more. You only get back what you have to give. Sometimes you get more because life is funny that way, sometimes less because people are selfish. It's okay to be mad in those situations.
Watch your words. They bite. You don't intend for them to be sharp, but sometimes they leave a mark and cause unintentional pain. Do not take your anger with yourself out on other people; they don't deserve that. Don't call someone by a name unless it is his or her ACTUAL name. Imagine that every word you say is a permanent presence in the world. It leaves a visible reminder. Create something beautiful with your words.
Own your mistakes. Say, "I'm sorry.” and mean it. You are not perfect, neither is the person reading this and silently judging you. (They aren't really judging you, or maybe they are, it doesn't matter. Let it go.)
Get out more. Spend time in situations that make you uncomfortable. You don't have to be an extrovert, but you also can't be a hermit. Take advantage of the people who said they would be there, and let them be there for you on the days you can't be there for yourself.
Crying is okay. It's healthy and cleansing. Don't be so afraid of your tears. And don't be so intimidated when they sneak up on you at some less than convenient time. You don't have to be strong all the time.
You can't change the past, so stop trying. Plan for the future, but don't live there. Be present.
Nurture relationships, don't expect someone to stick around and wait while you are busy being self-absorbed.
Don't gossip. If someone is willing to say something to you about someone else, they are likely saying the same things about you. "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."
Control your stress. Every situation in life involves stress; some of it is good, some of it is downright ugly. Try to maintain balance. The bad stress keeps you on your toes and makes you appreciate the good that much more. Learn to relax and breathe. Repeat as necessary.
Downsize. Don't let your stuff, or lack thereof, define you -- it is just stuff. If you're going to collect something, collect photographs and memories. Those are better anyway. Be content with what you have and quit wishing for what everyone else has. (Their stuff might be cooler, and it just might also come with a lot of baggage.) More stuff does not equal happiness. You know a lot of unhappy people with lots of stuff.
Laugh more. You have an infectious laugh. Learn to use it more often. Humor is never a bad thing unless you use it to tear someone else down, and that is just plain mean.
Smile. Being sad is okay. Staying in a place of sadness serves no purpose; there are resources for that kind of sadness. Your skin will wrinkle whether you smile or frown, so make those tiny lines a byproduct of something you enjoyed.
Be yourself. You're smart, funny, intelligent, and beautiful. No one else possesses the same characteristics and talents. You are good enough. You are good.
~s
