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So, I'm a glutton for punishment, apparently. Really, I am. Everyone who knows me, really knows ME -- knows that to be true. I don't walk away from a challenge. I don't shy away from feeling (although at times I should) -- and fortunately for me, it is probably the single most identifying trait of my character. It would be easy to get bogged down in all the "things" about life that don't go my way. It would be easy to crawl into a cave and just say "life happens" and it's fair to some and not to others.

I spent part of this evening at Little Rock Central High School -- at an open house to determine which high school my youngest daughter will attend in the fall. The rest of my evening was spent on my couch, watching the Barbara Walter's interview with Patrick Swayze. Ok, first, I'm a Swayze fan since Dirty Dancing. I've seen the movie at least 200 times, and have always "dreamed" that I was Jennifer Gray in the final scene when he utters the words, "nobody puts Baby in a corner". *sigh* -- absolutely dreamy. But more importantly than that, he is bringing to light a cause that I believe in -- finding a cure for Pancreatic Cancer.

People close to me know this is a cause that is near and dear to my heart. You see, almost two years ago (January 25th it will be two years exactly) my best friend lost her battle with this devastating disease. Her name was Teresa "Terri" Dean Klemm Hall -- and she was not only my closest confidant on this planet, she was also my mother. She was just shy of her 52nd birthday. She fit none of the "criteria" for risk -- she wasn't male, in her late 60's-70's -- she was 47 when she was diagnosed. It's still "raw" -- I miss her everyday.

So, you're probably asking yourself, "why would someone who has dealt with this personally, watch a celebrity interview?" -- Well, you see -- until his diagnosis, Pancreatic Cancer was kind of brushed under the rug. It has always taken a back seat to the more curable cancers -- breast, colon, etc. It's essentially a death sentence to those diagnosed, because it's hard to detect and when they do find it, it's too late to do anything to treat it and have a good chance of remission. Those fortunate (my mom was one of those) have resectionable tumors (meaning they can have radical surgery to remove the tumor and get "clean" margins). But so many aren't that fortunate. My mom lived almost 4 years after diagnosis. Her cancer went into remission for two of those years. Then in came back with a vengeance.

My heart goes out to those who have to live through this disease -- and to those who have to watch their loved ones lose the fight. I've walked in your shoes. I've seen the battle firsthand. I'm stronger than I give myself credit for being, and my guess is you are too. This January 25th, I going to remember the legacy my mom left. And I'm going to say a prayer for all those who are fighting the fight -- maybe your fight isn't cancer, but keep your head up. Better days lie ahead, while you may not see it at this particular moment.